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Thread: Over Dad's Knee

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    Default Over Dad's Knee

    Were you spanked as a child? How did you feel about that as a child? How do you feel about it now as an adult?
    Jesus Christ Conquers

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    Yes my father spanked me on a regular basis. I find it revolting....yet strangely fascinating.
    Theology is the fine art of making simple facts complex assertions...

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    I was spanked many times. 99% of the time I deserved it.

    Prov 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
    Prov 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
    Prov 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hornbeam View Post
    Were you spanked as a child? How did you feel about that as a child? How do you feel about it now as an adult?
    Yes, but that kind of discipline didn't work on me. My parents had to withold something I liked to make me comply. It was usually my favorite TV show. It worked.

    No discipline seems good at the time but the Bible says "yet afterward to those who have been trained by it it yields peaceable fruit, namely, righteousness. (Heb. 12:7-11)

    Discipline can be physical correction or it can be verbal instruction, or like my parents, the witholding of something important to the child. Whatever works for the one being corrected is the one to use. Violence is never advocated.

    We have to differentiate between correction and child abuse. Any discipline administered in anger can go too far.
    Best to wait, send the child to their room while you cool off. Then administer the discipline in a calm and controlled way, after some reflection.

    These days one risks being reported to authorities for child abuse for a simple smack. Are we surprised that we have a generation of spoiled brats? They have all the rights in the world but no responsibility...how did that happen?

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    It depends.... sometimes I was fine with it and know it was deserved.

    Sometimes my Mom spanked me to discipline me. Sometimes she mixed my discipline with her anger and went overboard.

    We also were exposed to male role model (quasi-father-figures) who generally were just very abusive to us. I have been spanked so hard that it left welts, bruises and bleeding open sores.

    My step-dad who my Mom was married to for six and a half long years was very abusive. He used his fists, choked us, used belts, racetrack rails etc.... He beat my sister in the face and blood vessels popped in her eye and her eye was red and bloody for a long time. He grabbed her around the arms so hard she bruised. He broke one brothers nose and kicked another so hard with his steel-toed work boots he was bruised and limped for a while. He choked me and beat me. Once, he just kept beating me until my sister physically intervened because he wouldn't stop and so he beat her. He tried to kill me once with a large cast iron frying pan. My back was to him so I didn't see it coming until he started to bring the pan down on my head and my Mom flew across the room faster than I've ever seen a human being move and grabbed his hand allowing me to get away.

    Another abusive thing parents used to do back then is spank children in front of other friends and relatives and sometimes they would pull their pants down to do it.

    I occasionally swat my daughter but not with a weapon, not repeatedly and not with the intention of inflicting great bodily harm or humiliating her. Usually though, I ground her or have her write sentences or find some other consequence for her.

    One thing I have come to believe as an adult is that sometimes physical punishment is needed but you should never hit a child while you're angry or as a means to quell your anger. You should never 'beat' a child. There is a difference between a firm reminder tap and a hard, agressive, out of control beating.

    So.....having said this and having bared my soul here, I think we need to define first what is 'spanking?'

    Luv

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    Nancy? (05-30-2011)

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    Luv, I think everyone pretty much knows what spanking is...its a "whacking" or paddling on the behind. I, too, grew up in an abusive home (father and mother). I was the oldest and, thankfully, was the brunt of the abuse so my younger sister was spared. I'm 64 years old and I still have the physical scars from it. I "spanked" my two children as they grew up. But differently. I can count on one hand the spankings my daughter got. There's not enough hands to count the ones my son got. Difference in kids. I NEVER spanked one of them when angry, NEVER slapped one of them, NEVER "hit" one of them, etc. Time outs, grounding, etc. I used. I didn't "whip" my kids for every offense. But sometimes they needed it and they got it.

    I've got degrees in Psychology and know all the pysco-babble about spanking "only creates violence" crap. I DON'T advocate physical abuse or harm. I DO say that sometimes a good strong hand in the "background" can do wonders. But every child is different and you have to KNOW your child as to what is the best and most effective form of discipline. Too many children today are being raised as "free range chickens" who have no sense of responsiblity and little or no manners or respect for others or themselves. God bless.
    Pastor2022- Moderator

    Faith is the confident obedience to the Word of God in spite of circumstances or consequences.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hornbeam View Post
    Were you spanked as a child? How did you feel about that as a child? How do you feel about it now as an adult?
    Yes, I was. In those days in the 1950s and early 1960s, spanking children was never seriously questioned by most parents. When I became a parent myself, much later, I thought a lot about the influence that spanking had had on me. Based on that, and my wife's good common sense, we agreed to raise our daughter without corporal punishment. I think our decision has turned out well.

    My parents, who have watched their grandchildren grow up with discipline, but without corporal punishment, have since changed their minds.
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    You all are so nice. I am not nice. I was not spanked. I think never. So there you go, spanking can be OK, if it is legal.

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    Nancy, I would never use spanking, swatting or hitting as a first resort. Beating a child is never a good option whether it is legal or not.

    I do think it was pretty common for parents when I was growing up to use corporal and psychological punishment hand-in-hand. For example, a lot of times we would have to pick our own switches off the tree and take the leaves off of them. Then they would methodically peel the end with a knife and with sword-like precision, whip the switch back and forth through the air so you could hear the noise. Sometimes they would make us go out a few times and pick switches until they were satisfied we had picked one that would do the job. Other times they would make us wait and sweat it out then beat us or they would awaken us about 1 or 2 in the morning, lecture us then line us up and whip us.

    I have had to work hard to overcome my past and the way I was raised so that I don't pass it on to my kids. It took a while to figure out reasonable discipline because I only knew one way. I had to read books, talk to and watch other people I considered good parents and watch shows about parenting. I then worked at deciding what would work for me and my kids and I put those parenting tools in to practice. Was I perfect at it? No. Did I make mistakes? You bet I did. Have I improved as a parent? Absolutely!

    The hardest thing for me and the thing that has taken the longest is learning how not to yell. I didn't yell insults, call names or make belittling remarks but I would yell about whatever situation we were dealing with and that was hard, especially for my oldest daughter. It still frightens them and makes them sad and angry. I have apologized to my daughter and to God and asked for forgiveness for my shortcomings.

    I became a parent at 19. I became a parent again at 37. I was a good Mom in many ways both times but I can honestly say I have been a better Mom the 2nd time around and I am a better Mom to my oldest now too and a good Grandma to my Grandsons.

    I don't think a light spanking or a swat once in a while is necessarily wrong. It becomes wrong when it becomes in any way abusive. When it crosses the line in to abusive behavior, it is no longer discipline and it is no longer effective.

    Luv
    Last edited by Luvnlife; 05-30-2011 at 03:49 PM. Reason: fix spelling/grammatical error.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy? View Post
    You all are so nice. I am not nice. I was not spanked. I think never. So there you go, spanking can be OK, if it is legal.
    Hi Nancy. Why do you say that you are not nice?
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