desperate

[lightbearer]

IT IS SO GOOD TO BE BACK!

MB

I am Glad, Welcome back

[GeneZ]

I really don't know what to think at this point. He says there hasn't been anyone but I don't know. I would have trusted him with absolutely anything 48 hours ago, but know I just don't know. My main concern is this: What do the scriptures say about all of this. I mean I know what it says about homosexuality but what if anything about what to do if you are married to someone who decides to LITERALLY kill your heart in one sentence. I am angry, but not at him. I know that doesn't make sense because none of you have lived it, but it's the truth, I'm really not angry with him. I'm angry at the situation and that now it has to be fixed. Then theres the fact that he says he doesn't want a divorce, he still loves me and will do whatever I want. That just scares me. I don't know how to feel, what to think, or where to even go to talk to someone. Unfortunately I have a friend who just weeks ago had the same thing happen, but her husband had been with other men after the birth of their first child, and while she was pregnant with the second and he had moved someone in just about as soon as she moved out. She of course is very bitter but I really don't want to go there. I don't want all of this to be ugly or mean or end in a BAD DIVORCE. I just don't know. If anyone has any ideas I would greatly appreciate it, but I'm telling you know, if it turns into a bashing session I will leave the forum and not come back. I can only take so much, and that is not on my list at the moment.

I know it's crazy, but I really do still love him, with all my heart. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Father brought us together, I'm just trying to figure out where I went so wrong as to deserve this. All I feel is an eaten up black pit of despair in my chest that just keeps growing and I fear it will consume me. I'm at an absolute loss as to what to do or where to go. So again, if anyone has any insight and isn't interested in blaming or pointing fingers please, please, share what you have. I need it.

DOY

Is this something that just came upon him recently? Or has he been having these feelings all his life?

[JayDee]

Glad the dust is settling for you DoY. Welcome back.

[MoreCoffee]

Dear friends,

I know it has been several months since my last post. I appologize for that. My life has been an upsetting and scary rollarcoaster for the last 6 months and things are finally starting to settle back down. I thought my first post "back on the site" should be an update as to what is going on with this situation.

I have filed for divorce and found out yesterday that my court date is August 9th. It took me quite a while to come to that decision but now that I've made it I feel much better. I pray everyday to continue on a path of forgiveness and calm, because the last thing I want is to become bitter. It would be oh so easy to be bitter. I have a wonderful supportive family that has been so very helpful during these past few months and I am so thankful for them and the friends that have stood by me through this trial.

I felt that I had lost myself and I have finally found myself again and have also found a renewed faith in YHWH our Father and He has even brought a new someone into my life. We are only friends for now and we are taking our time getting to know each other. We will see what happens there!

Anyway,

IT IS SO GOOD TO BE BACK!

MB

I hope your life is truly on the mend and that all will go well for you on your chosen course.

How is your husband?

[zanner]

praying in the Spirit for you and your husband, and this situation.

[DaughterofYAH]

Is this something that just came upon him recently? Or has he been having these feelings all his life?

He says since he was 12.

DOY

[DaughterofYAH]

I hope your life is truly on the mend and that all will go well for you on your chosen course.

How is your husband?

I can't honestly answer that question. Our conversations have been fewer and further between until about March when we stopped talking altogether. After we seperated he tried several times to hit me or pin me so I decided that the best bet was just to get away and stay away, so I have.

DOY

[eleven]

Well I'm glad you're here. Take a rest and breathe for awhile.